white girls on facebook: *uploads selfie with paragraph of lyrics*

liftedandgiftedd:

acutelesbian:

I can never tell if I’m the biggest asshole to exist or a huge sweetheart because some people I care immensely about and would drop everything for them and other people I could punch in the eye for just speaking. 

seriously the most accurate thing I ever read.

(via clearly-misunderst0od)

tunaofthesea:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i always feel really uncomfortable when two heavily tattooed people have a baby and the baby comes out blank idk i just expect some tattoos

blank

(via theaadventureye)

Me as a child: when I'm 16 I'll be out partying every night
Me now: *comes out of my room to eat, go to the bathroom, and go to school*

square-enix:

when teachers leave the cursor right in the middle of the fucking video

(Source: pinesollux, via unusual-waves)

stripforharry:

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

there are two kinds of people

(Source: dogs420, via unusual-waves)

When the person eating next to me is chewing loudly:

sodamnrelatable:

 

(via unusual-waves)

Passed a real gentleman on the sidewalk tonight Dude [into cellphone]: I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING JAW THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR FUCKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK-- hold on, give me a second. There's a woman walking by.

before running: AW YEAH LET'S DO THIS
during running: i hate my life i hate my life my legs hurt and i can't breathe and i have 2 miles to go and this song sucks
after running: YEAH BITCHES THAT WAS AMAZING